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Writer's pictureBelinda Phillips

THE IMPETUS FOR CHANGE


I didn’t wake up one day and decide to create a better life. I’ll admit that I was on autopilot. I never thought about my next steps. I just did what was expected of me. After high school, I had a variety of jobs – custodian in the dorms, exercise instructor, clerk at a law firm, and clerk to two different judges. I went to college, law school, and grad school. I got a job in a large law firm as a lawyer in the tax law department. I got married, bought a house, had two kids, and got a dog. I am quite sure that I would have continued down this path if my life hadn’t come to a screeching halt. My younger daughter was born with a spontaneous genetic condition. I left my job to care for her and to be her advocate. I got divorced and I moved from our beautiful home on a lake with my two daughters and our dog into a two bedroom apartment. While I never felt totally confident in myself before my life took a hard right turn, the fear and panic I felt when I got divorced and realized I had to figure out how to be mother, father, breadwinner, advocate, caregiver, and more was more than I felt I could handle. Yet, I didn’t have any choice. I had two young daughters who were relying on me to make sure that we were all ok. I was terrified. Looking back, I don’t know how we did it, but somehow we never went without our basic needs being met. My fears took over and I had to somehow find the courage to keep going. If it weren’t for my two beautiful daughters, I might have given up. They kept me focused and putting one foot in front of the other. I never intended to put out my shingle and become a business owner. I never intended to help people who had their own struggles. I never intended to venture into the world of healing and wellness. Sometimes you have to get whacked upside the head or cut down at the knees in order to wake up. That’s what happened to me. Obviously, there was a different path that was more in alignment with my truth. I didn’t know it. And I certainly didn’t know how challenging it would be. On my journey, I tried out many different things I never would have before. I explored a handful of careers and many different healing modalities. I learned how to have patience, look for patterns, and to trust my own intuition. I learned that just because something felt right for someone else didn’t mean it was right for me, and vice versa. I learned to be present and to listen. Not one step of this journey was easy, but it was worth it. In the past, when I heard other people declare that they were grateful for their challenges, I would whisper “hogwash” to myself. I guess I needed to learn it for myself. If this inspires you even just a little, I invite you to follow me as I share more of my journey with you and the tools and strategies I have learned along the way that have helped me and many others I have worked with.

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